Les meilleures répliques

Citation :

[1.09] The journey home

Dean: All right. I've been cruisin' some websites and I think I found some candidates for our next gig. A fishing trawler found off the coast of Cali, its crew vanished. And, uh, we got some cattle mutilations in west Texas. Hey! Am I boring you with this hunting-evil stuff?
Sam: No, I'm listening. Keep going.
Dean: And here, a Sacramento man shot himself in the head. Three times. Any of these things blowin' up your skirt, pal?

Dean: Just slow down would ya. I mean first you tell me that you've got the Shining, and then you tell me that I've got to go back home, especially when...
Sam: When what?
Dean: When I swore to myself that I would never go back there.

Dean: (to his Dad's voicemail) Dad, I know I've left messages before. I don't even know if you get 'em. But I'm with Sam and we're in Lawrence and there's something in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not...but... (tears up) I don't know what to do. So whatever you're doing, if you could get here...please. I need your help, Dad.

Missouri: Don't worry about a thing, your wife's crazy about you. (client leaves) Whoo, poor bastard. His woman is cold-banging the gardener.
Dean: Why didn't you tell him?
Missouri: People don't come here for the truth, they come for good news.

Missouri: You two have grown up handsome. (looks at Dean) And you were a goofy looking kid, too.

Missouri: Sam, oh honey. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. And your father...he's missing.
Sam: How'd you know all that?
Missouri: Well, you were just thinking it, just now.
Dean: Where is he? Is he okay?
Missouri: I don't know.
Dean: Don't know? You're supposed to be a psychic, right?
Missouri: Boy, you see me sawing some boney tramp in half! You think I'm a magician. I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room but I can't pull facts out of thin air.

Missouri: Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table, I'm going to whack you with a spoon.
Dean: I didn't do anything.
Missouri: You were thinking about it.

Missouri: I haven't been back inside, but I've been keeping an eye on the place and it's been quiet. No sudden deaths, no freak accidents. Why is it acting up now?
Sam: I don't know. But with Dad going missing, and Jessica dying, and now this house all happening at once, it just feels like something's starting.
Dean: That's a comforting thought.

Missouri: You see, all those years ago real evil came to you. It walked this house. That kind of evil leaves wounds, and sometimes wounds get infected.

Dean: Listen, Jenny, it's important, Ow!
(Missouri hits him on the back of the head)
Missouri: Give the poor girl a break, can't you see she's upset. (to Jenny) Forgive this boy - he means well, he's just not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Missouri: Is that an EMF?
Dean: Yeah.
Missouri: Amateur.

Dean: What is all this?
Missouri: Crossroads dirt, few other odds and ends. We're gonna put them in the west and east sides of the house; it'll repel the spirit.
Dean: Punching holes in the drywall. Jenny's gonna love that.
Missouri: She'll live.

Missouri: Don't worry – Dean's going to clean up this mess. Well what are you waiting for, boy. Grab the mop. (Dean glares silently) And don't cuss at me!

Missouri: You sensed it was here, didn't you? Even when I couldn't.
Sam: What's happening to me?
Missouri: I know I should have all the answers but...I don't know.

Citation :

[1.10] Asylum

Dean: It's a text message - it's co-ordinates.
Sam: You think Dad was texting us?
Dean: He's given us co-ordinates before.
Sam: The man can barely work a toaster, Dean.

Sam: It doesn't matter what Dad wants.
Dean: See, that attitude right there... That's why I always got the extra cookie.

(Sam shoves Dean, who leaves)
Off-Duty Cop: You didn't have to do that.
Sam: Yeah of course I did. That guy's a serious jerk.

Dean: You shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy?
Sam: I had to sell it, didn't I?

Dean: Alright, so either Kelly had some deep-seated crazy waitin' to bust out or something else did it to him.

Dean: (talking about his dad) You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda.

Sam: Dean, when are you gonna talk about it?
Dean: Talk about what?
Sam: About the fact that Dad's not here.
Dean: Oh..uh, let's see...never.

Sam: Spirits can appear at certain hours of the day.
Dean: Yeah, the freaks come out at night.

Dean: Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got goin' on.
Sam: I told you, it's not ESP, I just have strange vibes sometimes.

Dean: Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?

Dean: Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.

Dean: The log book said he had some sort of hidden procedure room down here somewhere, where he'd work on his patients so I mean, if I was a patient, I'd drag his ass down here and do some work on him myself.

Dean: The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed-off spirit...is the pissed-off spirit of a psycho-killer.

Dean: Hey, I gotta question for ya. You seen a lot of horror movies, yeah?
Kat: Yeah, I guess so.
Dean: Do me a favor, next time you see one, pay attention. When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.

Katherine: So how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?
Sam: It's kind of our job.
Katherine: Why would anyone want a job like that?
Sam: I had a crappy guidance counselor.

Gavin: She kissed me.
Sam: Erm, but she didn't hurt you physically?
Gavin: Dude, she kissed me! I'm scarred for life!

Sam: I told you I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room.
Dean: Well, that's why they call it hidden.

Dean: (after finding Ellicot's body) Aw, that's just gross.

Kat: Hey Gavin?
Gavin: Yeah?
Kat: If we make it out of here alive, we are so breaking up.

Dean: Sam, put the gun down.
Sam: Is that an order?
Dean: No, it's more of a friendly request.

Dean: What are ya gonna do, Sam? The gun is filled with rock salt. It's not gonna kill me.
(Sam shoots Dean)
Sam: No, but it'll hurt like hell.

Dean: So, what are you going to do, huh? You gonna kill me?
Sam: You know what, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. We're no closer to finding Dad today, then we were 6 months ago.
Dean: Well, then here, let me make it easier for you. Come on, take it. Real bullets are gonna work a hell of a lot better than rock salt. Take it! (gun pointed at Dean) You hate me that much? You think you can kill your own brother? Well then, go ahead. Pull the trigger. (waits for Sam to fire gun) Do it!
(Sam tries to fire the gun)
Dean: Man, I'm not going to give you a loaded pistol. (knocks him unconscious) Sorry, Sammy.

(Sam has woken up after Dean has burned Ellcott's bones)
Dean: You're not gonna try to kill me, are you?
Sam: No.
Dean: Good. 'Cause that would be awkward.

Citation :

[1.11] Scarecrow

Sam: So, Dad is sending us to Indiana to go hunting for something before another couple vanishes?
Dean: Yahtzee. Can you imagine putting together a pattern like this? All the different obits Dad had to go through? The man's a master!

Dean: All right, look, I know how you feel.
Sam: Do you? How old were you when Mom died? Four? Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel?

Dean: Dad said it wasn't safe for any of us. But he obviously knows something that we don't. So he says to stay away, we stay away.
Sam: I don't understand the blind faith you have in that man. I mean, it's like you didn't even question him.
Dean: Yes! It's called being a good son.

Dean: You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks.
Sam: That's what you really think?
Dean: Yes, it is.
Sam: Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California.

Dean: Scotty, you got a smile that lights up a room. Anyone tell you that? (Scotty stares blankly) Ah, never mind.

Dean: Dude, you fugly.

Sam: You trust shady van guy and not me?
Meg: Definitely.

Sam: The scarecrow crawled off its cross?
Dean: I'm telling you, Burkitsville, Indiana – Fun Town U.S.A.

Dean: Actually, I'm on my way to the local community college. I got an appointment with a professor.. you know, since I don't have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research!

Dean: Sam, you were right, you gotta do your own thing, you gotta live your own life.
Sam: Are you serious?
Dean: You've always known what you want and you go after it. Stand up to Dad, and you always have. I wish I had. Anyway, I admire that about you. I'm proud of you, Sammy.
Sam: I don't even know what to say.
Dean: Say you'll take care of yourself.
Sam: I will.

Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

Emily: I don't understand. They're going to kill us?
Dean: Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier I guess.

Emily: So what's the plan?
Dean: I'm working on it.
(several hours later)
Emily: You don't have a plan, do you?
Dean: I'm working on it...

Bus Station Clerk: Sorry, the Sacramento bus doesn't run again til tomorrow, 5:05 p.m.
Sam: Tomorrow! There's got to be another way!
Bus Station Clerk: Oh, there is. Buy a car.

Dean: How'd you get here?
Sam: I stole a car.
Dean: That's my boy!

Dean: Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.
Sam: You should be kissing my ass--you were dead meat, dude.
Dean: Yeah right. I had a plan-- I'd have gotten out.

Citation :

[1.12] Faith

Dean: You ever watch daytime TV? It's terrible.
Sam: I talked to your doctor...
Dean: That fabric softener teddy bear... oooh, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down.

Dean: Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, its a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.
Sam: Don't talk like that, all right? We still have options.
Dean: What options? You have burial or cremation?

Dean: You better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass.
Sam: I don't think that's funny.
Dean: Oh come on, it's a little funny

Dean: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

Sam: You know this whole "I laugh in the face of death" thing is crap, I can see right through it.
Dean: Yeah, whatever. Have you even slept? You look worse than me.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?
Sam: I'm not gonna let you die period.

Dean: Man, you're a lying bastard. I thought you said we were going to see a doctor.
Sam: I believe I said a specialist.

Sam: But if there was something there Dean, I would have seen it too. I mean, I've been seeing an awful lot lately.
Dean: Oh, excuse me, psychic wonder!

Sam: But you said you saw a dude in a suit.
Dean: Oh, what? You thought he should have been working the whole black robe thing?

Dean: God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work.

Officer: Hey, next time we see you come back here, we'll put the fear of God in you.
Dean: Yeah, Fear of God, Got It.

Layla: God works in mysterious ways. Goodbye Dean.
Dean: Hey, um, you know, I'm not much of the praying type. But I'm gonna pray for you.
Layla: Well, there's a miracle right there.

Citation :

[1.13] Road 666

Sam: By old friend you mean...
Dean: Friend that's not new.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.

Sam: You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?
Dean: Am I speaking a language you're not getting here?

Sam: You told her. You told her? The secret? Our big family rule number one, we do what we do, and we shut up about it. For a year and a half I do nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything? (Dean still says nothing) Dean!
Dean: Yeah, looks like it

Sam: And you think this vanishing truck ran him off the road?
Cassie: (embarrassed) Oh, when you say it aloud like that.

Sam: (talking about Dean and Cassie) What's interesting is that you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she's not looking. She checks you out when you look away. It's just an interesting observation, in a, you know, observationally interesting way.

Cassie: Whenever we get, what's the word, "close," anywhere in the neighborhood of emotional vulnerability, you back off or make some joke or find any way to shut the door.
Dean: (laughs) That's hilarious. See, I'm not the one who took that big final door and slammed it behind me. I'm not the one who took the key and buried it.
Cassie: Are we done with that metaphor?

Sam: Occasionally I miss boring.
Dean: So this killer truck...
Sam: I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck."

Dean: Don't leave the house.
Cassie: Don't go getting all authoritative on me, I hate it.
Dean: Don't leave the house, please?

Sam: So burning the body had no effect on that thing?
Dean: Sure it did – now it's really pissed.

Sam: Where are you going?
Dean: I'm going for a little ride.
Sam: What?
Dean: I'm gonna lead that thing away. (pointing to the truck) That rusted piece of crap, you've gotta burn it.
Sam: How the hell am I supposed to burn a truck, Dean?
Dean: I don't know. Figure something out.

Sam: (over a cellphone) Where are you?
Dean: I'm in the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!

Sam: I figured maybe that would get rid of it.
Dean: Maybe?! Maybe?!? What if you were wrong?
Sam: Honestly that thought hadn't occured to me.
Dean: (mimicking Sam) "Well that honestly didn't occur to me." I'm gonna kill him.

Citation :

[1.14] Nightmare

Max: All these people kept coming with, like casserole. I finally had to tell them all to go away. Because nothing says “sorry” like a tuna casserole.

Sam: You can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.
(long pause)
Dean: This doesn't freak me out.

Sam: We're not gonna kill Max.
Dean: Then what? Hand him over to the cops and say, "Lock him up, Officer. He kills with the power of his mind."

Sam: Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.
Dean: What's that?
Sam: Both our families are cursed.
Dean: Our family's not cursed...we've just had our dark spots.
Sam: (chuckles) Our dark spots are pretty dark.
Dean: You're...dark.

Sam: When Max locked me in that closet, that big cabinet against the door, I moved it.
Dean: You have a little bit more upper body strength than I give you credit for!
Sam: No, man, I moved it--like Max.
Dean: Oh. Right.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: (grabs a spoon) Bend this.

Sam: Aren't you worried, man? Aren't you worried that I could turn into Max or something?
Dean: Nope. No way. You know why?
Sam: No, why?
Dean: Because you've got one advantage that Max didn't have.
Sam: Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean.
Dean: No, me. As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you.

Dean: I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Sam: Where?
Dean: Vegas. (Sam 'harrumphs' and walks out) What? Come on man! Craps table? We'd clean up!

Citation :

[1.15] The Benders

Kathleen: (about Sam) Does your cousin have a drinking problem?
Dean: Sam? Two beers and he's doin' karaoke.

Deputy Kathleen: So you know his brother Dean Winchester died in St. Louis and was suspected of murder?
Dean: Yeah, Dean, kinda the black sheep of the family. Handsome, though.

Sam: I was looking for you.
Jenkins: Oh yeah?
Sam: Yeah.
Jenkins: Well, no offense, but this is a piss-poor rescue.

Deputy Kathleen: And it just got back to me. Says here your badge was stolen. And there is a picture of you.
(shows him a picture of a large black man)
Dean: I lost some weight and I got that Michael Jackson skin disease...

Dean: (talking about Sam) When we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire. And ever since then I've felt responsible for him, like it's my job to keep him safe.

(trying to get out of handcuffs)
Dean: I gotta start carrying paperclips.

Deputy Kathleen: Your, uh... your cousin's looking for you.
Sam: Thank god. Where is he?
Deputy Kathleen: I, uh... I cuffed him to my car.

Dean: Have you seen them?
Sam: Yeah. Dude, they're just people.
Dean: And they jumped you? You must be getting a little rusty there, kiddo.

(looking at pictures of the family's victims)
Dean: I'll say it again. Demons I get, people are crazy!

Pa Bender: We never been that sloppy.
Dean: Yeah, well... don't sell yourself short – you're plenty sloppy.

Dean: Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me. That's what this is about? You yahoos hunt people?
Pa: But the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothin' like it. Holdin' their life in your hands. Seein' the fear in their eyes just before they go dark. Makes you feel powerful alive.
Dean: You're a sick puppy.

Pa Bender: So what, you with that pretty cop? Are you a cop?
Dean: If I tell you, will you promise not to make me into an ashtray?

Pa Bender: Only reason I don't let my boys take you right here and now is there's something I need to know.
Dean: How about “It's not nice to marry your sister”?

Pa Bender: Tell me, any other cops gonna come lookin' for you?
Dean: Oh, eat me! No, no, no...wait, wait. You actually might.

Dean: Don't ever do that again.
Sam: Do what?
Dean: Go missing like that.
Sam: You were worried about me!
Dean: I'm just saying, you vanish like that again and I'm not looking for you.
Sam: Sure you won't.
Dean: I'm not!

Sam: So you got sidelined by a 13-year old girl?
Dean: Shut up.
Sam: I'm just saying, getting a little rusty there, kiddo?
Dean: Shut up!

Quelques quotes de Psych:


Shawn: (using binoculars) What is the magnification of these things?
Gus: 2X.
Shawn: Okay, we really need to stop at Wal-Mart on the way home.

Thrift Store Guy: I've gone to jail for less than you.
Gus: Jail's no fun. I'll tell you that much.
Thrift Store Guy: Oh, you've been.
Gus: Once. In Monopoly.

Shawn: (picking up a gun) Wow, they're so much lighter when they're filled with water.

Gus: Shawn, we need to go.
Shawn: Not yet.
Gus: I'm about to throw up on a Turkish carpet.
Shawn: No, you're not.
Gus: It's in my esophagus!
Shawn: Second door to the left. Turn on the fan, and flush.

Gus: You solved one mystery, and now you're renting office space?
Shawn: Gus, I've solved a bunch of mysteries! For instance, the mystery of who kept stealing your newspaper. Answer: me! The mystery of what we're doing this weekend. Hint: it involves dragsters.

Gus: What's your dental plan?
Shawn: Don't get cavities.
Gus: Health plan?
Shawn: Same, but with hepatitis and shingles.

Shawn: Come with me.
Gus: Uh, no. I'm never doing anything blindly with you again, I learned that at the Mexican border. Twice.

Shawn: I have a job for you.
Gus: I already have a job.
Shawn: They're paying you to play video games?
Gus: How do you do that?
Shawn: Come on, left hand space bar, right hand arrow keys. Gus, you should ask me a challenging question every once in awhile, just for kicks.

Waitress: I guess I know what you're going to be when you grow up.
Young Shawn: Oh, I'm never going to grow up, Ma'am.

Gus: You named your fake detective agency Psych? Why didn't you just call it "Hey, we're fooling you and the police department; hope we don't make a mistake and somebody dies because of it"?
Shawn: First of all, Gus, that name is entirely too long; it would never fit on the window. And secondly the best way you convince people you're not lying to them is to tell them you are!

Shawn: This one takes the cake.
Gus: Oh yeah? Better than the acupuncture clinic?
Shawn: I didn't realize experience was necessary.

Lassiter: You solved all these crimes - what was it - watching the local channel 8 news reports?
Shawn: All right, I confess, that's not true. Sometimes I watch channel 5. I prefer channel 8. The weather girl? Adorable.
Lassiter: So you're telling us that you can read guilt off of TV interviews?
Shawn: Can't you?
Lassiter: Don't you try and trivialize police work.
Shawn: I think you're doing a bang-up job of that all by yourself.

Lassiter: See, your information was good. So good, it could only have come from the inside.
Shawn: The inside of what?

Lassiter: Where were you the night of the last robbery?
Shawn: I was robbing a stereo shop. (laughs) I wasn't. I don't know, I guess I was doing the same thing you were doing: not solving crime.
Lassiter: You're not helping your case here.
Shawn: My case? ...Wait, wait, wait. I'm actually a suspect?
Lassiter: Oh, you're our lead suspect.
Shawn: I gave you the guy!
Lassiter: He had a partner.
Shawn: I have to find that guy? I'm confused. When do you start chipping in?

Shawn: Ahh!
Gus: Shhh!
Shawn: I'm so sorry my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you.

Shawn: Oh, come on, dude. You're not bored at all?
Gus: Do you know how to spell any of these words?
Shawn: Proudly, I have never heard of any of these words. I file these words under 'Things to say when I want to be ridiculed or kicked out of bed'.

Gus: You don't smell that?
Shawn: I don't smell anything.
Gus: That's because you don't have the Super Smeller!
Shawn: Okay, you have got to stop calling your nose the Super Smeller. If you want to name a body part man, name your butt. Call it the tight-bouncer or the hexagon.

Gus: (about the spelling bee) I tried to get tickets, but you've got to know somebody.
Shawn: Somebody lame.

Gus: So now I have a cat?
Shawn: An orange tabby. Last Christmas you made her a Santa hat. It was adorable.
Gus: Fantastic! I can’t even have a make-believe boy cat.
Shawn: Gus, a boy cat wouldn’t serve my purposes nearly as well. The next time I need you, Pickles is having kittens.
Gus: Pickles?
Shawn: Mrs. Pickles is her full name, though I’m not actually sure cats can marry outside of Boston.

Citation :

[1.16] Shadow

Sam: All right, Dean. This is the place.
Dean: You know, I've gotta say Dad and me did just fine without these stupid costumes. I feel like a high school drama dork. What was that play that you did? What was it, uh – Our Town. Yeah, you were good, it was cute.

Dean: I'm just saying these outfits cost hard-earned money.
Sam: Whose?
Dean: Ours. You think credit card fraud is easy?

Sam: So, you talk to the cops?
Dean: Uh, yeah. I spoke to Amy a, uh, charming and perky officer of the law.
Sam: Yeah, and what did you find out?
Dean: Well, she's a Sagittarius. She loves tequila, I mean...whew. Oh, and she's got this little tattoo...

Dean: I talked to the bartender.
Sam: Did you get anything... besides her number?
Dean: Dude, I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that (smiles and chuckles as he displays a napkin with her phone number) ...alright.
Sam: You might wanna try doing a little bit of thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?
Dean: Huh?

Dean: So to recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's number.

Sam: I thought I'd never see you again.
Meg: Well, I'm glad you were wrong.
(Dean does a fake cough, trying to get attention)
Meg: Dude, cover your mouth.

Sam: Yeah, this is... my brother Dean.
Meg: Oh, this is Dean.
Dean: (smiles) So you've heard of me.
Meg: Oh yeah, I've heard of you. Nice... the way you treat your brother like luggage.
Dean: (late to react) Sorry?

Sam: I think there's something weird going on here.
Dean: Yeah – she wasn't even into me!

Sam: I'm just saying, there's something about this girl I can't quite put my finger on.
Dean: But I bet you'd like to. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe...maybe you've got a thing for her. Maybe you're thinking a little too much with your upstairs brain.

Dean: What are you gonna do?
Sam: I'm gonna watch Meg.
Dean: (laughing) Yeah, you are.
Sam: I just wanna see what's what. Better safe than sorry.
Dean: All right, you little pervert.

(over the phone)
Sam: Hi.
Dean: Let me guess - you're lurking outside that poor girl's apartment, aren't you?
Sam: No!...Yes...
Dean: You got a funny way of showing your affection.

Dean: (to Sam) Now, look, why don't you go knock on her door and invite her to a poetry reading, or whatever it is you do, huh?

Sam: How'd you figure that out?
Dean: Give me some credit, man. You don't have a corner on paper chasing around here.
Sam: Oh yeah? Name the last book you read.
Dean: Ah, I called Dad's friend, Caleb. He told me, all right?

Dean: Why don't you go up and give that girl a private strip-o-gram?
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: Bite her. Don't leave teeth marks... just enough... (Sam hangs up) Sam?

Sam: You killed those two people for nothing.
Meg: Baby, I'd kill a lot more for a lot less.

(bound up by Meg)
Sam: Wanna have fun? Go ahead. I'm a little tied up right now.

Dean: Hey, Sam, don't take this the wrong way, but your girlfriend is a bitch.

Dean: Hey, Sam...?
Sam: Hmmm?
Dean: Next time you want to get laid... find a girl that's not so buckets of crazy, huh?

Citation :

[1.17] Hell House

Craig's Friend: Ooh, look, it's the evil root cellar, where Satan cans all his vegetables.

Dean: What's the matter, Sammy? You afraid you gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?
Sam: All right. Just remember you started it.
Dean: Oh, bring it on, Baldy.

Dean: Why don't you tell us about that house - without lying through your ass this time?

Dean: I don't know, Sam. I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but you know, the cops might be right about this one.

Dean: Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter.

Dean: Looks like old man Murdoch was a bit of a tagger during his time.
Sam: And after his time, too. The reverse cross was used by satanists for centuries, but the sigil of sulphur didn't show up in San Francisco until the '60's.
Dean: Exactly why you never get laid.

Dean: Hey, Sam, I dare you to take a swig of this.
Sam: What the hell would I do that for?
Dean: I double dare you!

Dean: Man I hate rats.
Sam: Would you rather it was a ghost?
Dean: Yes.

Harry: What are you guys doing here?
Dean: What the hell are you doing here?
Ed: Uh, we belong here, we're professionals.
Dean: Professional what?

Dean: So, you guys ever seen a real ghost before?
Ed: Once. We were investigating this old house and we saw a vase fall right off the table.
Harry: By itself.
Ed: Well, we-we-we didn't actually see it, but we heard it. And something like that, it changes you.

Harry: Yeah, so if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation, here.
Dean: Oh yeah? What do you got so far?
Ed: Harry, why don't tell 'em about EMF?
Harry: (in mock modesty) Well...
Sam: EMF?
Harry: Electromagnetic Field. Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuation that can be read with an EMF detector (pulls one out from his bag). Like this bad boy right here. Whoa, whoa 2.8--wow, it's hot in here.
(Dean lets out a whistle)

Ed: Sweet Lord...
Harry: of the Rings – run!!

Dean: I thought the legend said the Mordechai only goes after chicks.
Sam: It does.
Dean: Alright, well I mean that explains why it went after you, but why me?

Dean: People believe in Santa Claus - why aren't I getting hooked up every Christmas?
Sam: 'Cause you're a bad person.

Dean: (to Ed and Harry) Would you look at that? Action figures in their original packaging. What a shocker.

Ed: Okay, we've got an obligation to our fans, to the truth...
Dean: Well I have an obligation to kick both of your little asses.
Sam: Dean, Dean, hey, hey, just forget it, alright. These guys...I could probably bitch slap them both.

Dean: I barely have any skin left on my palm.
Sam: I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.

Ed: Harry, look at me, right here, okay? You are a ghost hunter, okay?
Harry: I know Ed, but I've never actually seen a real ghost before, okay. Like a real ghost, like an apparition...
Ed: This stuff right here, this is our ticket to the big time - fame, money, sex...with girls, okay? Be brave, okay... WWBD. What would Buffy do, huh?
Harry: What would Buffy do. I know, Ed, but she's stronger than me.

Sam: I have a confession to make.
Dean: What?
Sam: I was the one who called them and told them I was a producer. (Dean laughs)
Dean: Well, I was the one who put the dead fish in their backseat.

Sam: Truce?
Dean: Yeah, truce... at least for the next hundred miles.

Citation :

[1.18] Something Wicked

Sam: Are you sure you got the coordinates right?
Dean: Yeah, I double-checked. It's Fitchburg, Wisconsin. He wouldn't have sent us coordinates if it wasn't important, Sammy.
Sam: Well I'm telling you, I looked. And all I could find was a big, steamy pile of nothing! If Dad's sending us hunting for something, I don't know what.
Dean: Well maybe he's gonna meet us there.
Sam: (sarcastic chuckle) Yeah, because he's been so easy to find up to this point.
Dean: Well you're a real smartass, you know that?

Dean: Don't worry, I'm sure there's something in Fitchburg worth killing.
Sam: Yeah, what makes you so sure?
Dean: Well, because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right.
Sam: No it doesn't.
Dean: Yeah, it totally does.

Sam: You're getting wise in your old age, Dean.
Dean: Damn right.

Michael: King or two queens?
Dean: (asking for a room) Two queens.
Michael: Ya, I bet.
Dean: What'd you say?
Michael: Nice car.

Sam: Dude, dude, I am not using this ID.
Dean: Why not?
Sam: Because it says Bikini Inspector on it!

Sam: An old person, huh?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: In the hospital? Whew, better call the Coast Guard!

Dean: Dad never spoke about it again. I didn't ask. But he, uh, he looked at me different, you know. Which was worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn't listen, and I almost got you killed.
Sam: You were just a kid.
Dean: Don't. Don't. Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it.

Sam: I don't know why you didn't shoot him right then and there.
Dean: Yeah, Well. First of all I'm not going to open fire in a friggin' pediatric ward.
Sam: Good call.
Dean: Second, it wouldn't have done any good cause the bastard's bulletproof unless he's chowing down on something. And third, I wasn't packing. Which is probably a really good thing cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him off of the principle alone.

Sam: (Michael'll) always know there are things out there in the dark, never be the same, you know? Sometimes I wish that...
Dean: What?
Sam: I wish I could have that kind of innocence.
Dean: If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too.

Sam: Hey Dean, I'm sorry.
Dean: For what?
Sam: You know, I've really given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it.
Dean: Oh God, kill me now.

Citation :

[1.19] Provenance

Sam: Alright, so I think I got something.
Dean: Oh yeah, me too. I think we need to take a little shore leave, just a little, what do you think, huh? I'm so in the door with this one.
Sam: So what are we today, Dean? Are we rock stars, Army Rangers?
Dean: We're L.A. TV scouts looking for people with special skills. I mean, hey, it's not that far off, huh?

Dean: Consignment auctions, estate sales - it's like a garage sale for WASPs if you ask me.

Dean: Grant Wood, Grandma Moses...what?
Sam: Art History course. It's good for meeting girls.
Dean: It's like I don't even know you.

Dean: All right, well, if Isaiah's position changed then maybe some other things in the painting changed as well, you know, could give us some clues.
Sam: What, like a Da Vinci Code deal?
Dean: I don't...know, I'm still waiting for the movie on that one.

Sam: Maybe you can get her to write it all down on a cocktail napkin.
Dean: Not me.
Sam: No, no, no, no. Pickups are your thing, Dean.
Dean: It wasn't my butt she was checking out.

Sam: In other words, you want me to use her to get information.
Dean: Sometimes ya gotta take one for the team. Call her.

Sam: Thanks, Dean, but I can get my own dates.
Dean: You can, but you don't.

Sam: You know, I don't get it. What do you care if I hook up?
Dean: Because then maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.

Sarah: You're shameless, you know that?
Daniel Blake: For that kind of money, I can afford to be.

Sam: And nothing. That's it, I left.
Dean: You didn't have to con her or do any special favors or anything like that?
Sam: Dean, would you get your mind out of the gutter?

Sarah: Look, you guys are probably crazy, but if you're right about this, well, me and my dad sold that painting. We might have got those people killed. Look, I'm not saying I'm not scared, because I am scared as hell. But I'm not going to run and hide, either. So, we going or what?
Dean: Sam, marry that girl.

Sarah: So this is what you guys do for a living?
Sam: Not exactly. We don't get paid.

Sarah: You guys are uncomfortably comfortable with this.
Sam: Well, this isn't exactly the first grave we've dug. Still think I'm a catch?

(in the mausoleum)
Dean: You notice anything strange here?
Sarah: Uh, where do I start?
Dean: That's not what I mean. Look at the urns...
Sam: Yeah they're only four.
Dean: Mom and the three kids... daddy dearest isn't here.

Sarah: Uh, isn't this a crime scene?
Dean: Well, you've already lied to the cops. What's another infraction?

Sam: I don't understand, Dean. We burned the damn thing!
Dean: Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious.

Sam: What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!

Dean: (mumbling to himself) I'm the one who burned the doll and destroyed the spirit, but don't thank me or anything!

Sarah: There are a million things that I want to say to you, but for the life of me, I can't think of one.
Sam: Yeah, I'll miss you too.

Citation :

[1.20] Dead man’s blood

Girl: So you're just going to kill me?
Kate: Oh no, we're going to take you so high you're never going to come down.

John: Get back in the car.
Sam: No.
John: I said, get back in the car.
Sam: Yeah. And I said no.

Sam: You were the one who said "Don't come back," Dad. You're the one who closed that door, not me! You were just pissed off you couldn't control me anymore!

Sam: You can't treat us like this.
John: Like what?
Sam: Like children.
John: You are my children. I'm trying to keep you safe.
Dean: Dad, all due respect, but that's a bunch of crap.
John: Excuse me?

John: Dean, why don't you touch up your car, before you get rust. I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you were going to ruin it.

Sam: Hey, there's salt over here, right inside the door.
Dean: You mean like "protection against demons" salt or "oops, I spilled the popcorn" salt?

Dean: Vampires. Gets funnier every time I hear it!

John: So boys.
Sam: Yes, sir.
John: You ignored a direct order back there.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Dean: Yeah, but we saved your ass.
John: You're right.
Dean: I am?

Luther: Revenge isn't worth much if you end up dead.

Kate: Car trouble? Let me give you a lift. Take you back to my place.
Dean: Ah, I'll pass. I usually draw the line at necrophilia.
Kate: Ooh! (picks Dean up with one hand)
Dean: I don't normally get this friendly until the second date...
Kate: You know, we could have some fun. I always like to make new friends.
Dean: Sorry, don't really stay with a chick that long, definitely not eternity.

Citation :

[1.21] Salvation

Meg: Well, I've lied... a lot. I've stolen. I've lusted. And the other day I met this man – a nice guy, you know? And we had a really good chat...sort of like this. Then I slit his throat and ripped his heart out through his chest. (her eyes turn black) Does that make me a bad person?

Cute Girl: Hi, is there anything I can do for you?
Dean: Oh god, yes.

John: Alright, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.
Dean: Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad, I called you from Lawrence...Sam called you when I was dying. I mean getting you on the phone, I got a better chance of winning the lottery.
John: You're right. Although I'm not real crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.

John: I'm going to kill you.
Meg: Oh, John, please – mind your blood pressure.

Meg: You shot me! I can't believe you just shot me!

Sam: I wonder how Dad's doing.
Dean: I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.
Sam: I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.

Sam: Maybe we could tell them there's a gas leak, that might get them out of the house for a few hours.
Dean: Yeah, and how many times has that actually worked for us?
Sam: Yeah. (long pause) We could always tell them the truth.
Sam and Dean: (in unison) Naaah.

Sam: Dean, uh, I want to thank you.
Dean: For what?
Sam: For everything. You've always had my back, you know. Even when I couldn't count on anyone, I could always count on you. And, uh, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you kidding me?
Sam: What?
Dean: Don't say just in case something happens to you, I don't want to hear that freaking speech, man. Nobody's dying tonight, not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, understand me?

Meg: You're dead, John. Your boys are dead.
John: I never used the gun, how could I know it wouldn't work?
Meg: I am so not in the mood for this, I've just been shot!
John: Well then, I guess you're lucky the gun wasn't real.
Meg: That's funny, John. We're gonna strip the skin from your bones, but that was funny.

Dean: You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone and they're never coming back.
Sam: Don't you say that, not you, not after all this, don't you say that!
Dean: Sam, look. The three of us, that's all we have. And it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together, man. And without you or Dad...

Dean: Sam, I wanna waste it. I do, okay? But it's not worth dying over!
Sam: What?
Dean: I mean it! If hunting this demon means you getting yourself killed, then I hope we never find the damn thing!

Citation :

[1.22] Devil’s trap

Dean: Boy, you and Dad are a lot more alike that I thought you know that? You both can't wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing, but you know what, I'm gonna be the one to bury you!

Meg: You know, if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask.

Dean: Where's our father, Meg?
Meg: You didn't ask very nice.
Dean: Where's our father, bitch?

Meg: Jeez, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh I forgot, you don't.

Meg: I swear, after everything I heard about you Winchesters, I'm a little underwhelmed. First, Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun and then he leaves the real gun with you two chuckleheads. Lackluster, man. I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?
Dean: Actually, we were counting on it.

Meg: He begged for his life with tears in his eyes. He begged to see his sons one last time and that's when I slit his throat.
Dean: For your sake, I hope you're lying. Cause if it's true, I swear to God I will march into hell myself and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of bitches, so help me God!

Dean: No, you're gonna burn in Hell, unless you tell us where our dad is. (no response) Well at least you'll get a nice tan.

Meg: That's kind of a turn-on, you hitting a girl.
Dean: You're no girl.

Bobby: You think you guys invented lying to the cops. I'll figure something out.

Dean: What's happening? Is there a fire?
Firefighter: Sir, you have to stand back.
Dean: Well, I got a yorkie upstairs and he pees when he's nervous.

Sam: Hey, uh, Dean? Ummm...You saved my life back there.
Dean: So I guess you're glad I brought the gun, huh?
Sam: I'm trying to thank you here.
Dean: You're welcome.

Dean: Listen, you want to just get this over with, huh, cause I really can't stand the monologuing.

Dean: You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.
Sam: You didn't have a choice, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, I know, that's not what bothers me.
Sam: Then what does?
Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg - I didn't hesitate, I didn't even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I'm willing to do or kill, it scares me sometimes.

Sam: I'm gonna kill you.
John: (possessed) Oh, that would be a neat trick. In fact, here, make the gun float to you there, psychic boy.

John: (possessed) What? You are the only one who can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I have killed your family? Oh...that's right, I forgot, I did. Still, two wrongs don't make a right.

Sam: I want to know why?
John: (possessed) What? why, I killed mommy and pretty little Jess?
Sam: Yeah!
John: (possessed) You know, Sam never told you this, but he was going to ask Jess to marry him. Been shopping for rings, and everything. You want to know why?!
Sam: Yes!
John: (possessed) Because they got in the way.
Sam: In the way of what?!
John: (possessed) In the way of my plans for you and all the other kids like you.

John: (possessed) Sam, he's clearly John's favorite. Even when they fight, its more concern than he's ever shown you.
Dean: Yeah, I bet you're real proud of your kids, too. Huh? Oh wait, I forgot, I wasted them!

Psych:

Citation :

Shawn: “I’m receiving a psychic transmission from your husband… it’s really more of a voicemail if I’m being honest, a status update… perhaps a twitter.”
Gus: “I believe it’s called a tweet.”
Shawn: “There’s no way I’m saying that.”

Lassiter: Have at it. Who knows, maybe you’ll solve the great ice cream crime caper of the century?
Shawn: Crime of the century, huh? Still have 91 years to solve that one. Gus and I are gonna pace ourselves. We accept.

Gus: Oh, and Shawn…I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I care about you, and I appreciate you, and, well…I love you, Shawn.
Shawn: Okay, buddy. I hear you. You know I’m going to be back in, like, half an hour, right? Wow…that is a tight hug.

Lassiter: Don’t you try and trivialize police work.
Shawn: I think you’re doing a bang-up job of that all by yourself.

Shawn: Dad, do you think you can miss out on a moment?
Henry: What do you mean?
Shawn: Like an opportunity. You think you can miss an opportunity and a moment? Y’know, and then it’s too late, and then the course of your life’s changed forever.
Henry: Yeah, absolutely. Wait a minute. Is this about a girl?
Shawn: Maybe.
Henry: Life is not made up of a single moment. It’s made up of a gazillion moments. What defines us is the choice you make in the next moment and the one after that. These moments, Shawn, they’re happening, they’re all around us, all the time. You’re having one right now.
Shawn: I just keep wondering. Like, what if I’d made a different choice? Y’know, like on a particular night. In one of these moments. Who would I be now?
Henry: Well, I suspect that you wouldn’t be you.

Shawn: Whooo! Look at you buddy! You’re like Vin Desiel!
Gus: That makes Jules, Michelle Rodriguez, and you Paul Walker!
Shawn: This is no good!
Gus: Don’t worry Shawn! You’re gonna be alright!
Shawn: I’m know! I’ll be fine! I just really don’t want to be Paul Walker! Not even for one day!
Gus: You could be Lucas Black from Tokyo Drift, but then we wouldn’t be in the movie with you!
Shawn: Thats weird… I- I’ll just be Walker…

Shawn: The truth is I got freaked that you could have a falling out with dudes you used to be so close to. And I figured if it could happened to you guys, then it could happen to us.
Gus: Shawn, don’t you realize if none of the myriad of stupid, selfish and ultimately life threatening stunts you pulled over the last four years could do it, its probably not going to happen.

Juliet: I can’t believe your Uncle Jack actually had a treasure map.
Lassiter: I can’t believe you actually pretended your uncle was your dad.
Shawn: I wanted Gus’ dad to do it. But there was a genealogy issue I just couldn’t resolve.

Shawn: I’m nobody’s puppet, OK? I’m done– I’m done playing his little game. I solved his puzzles, I talked to a rat, I even chased a train. I’m-I’m finished.
Mary Lightly: But no one’s ever gotten this far. That’s why he’s still playing. It’s a sign of respect.
Shawn: No, it isn’t, Mary. You said it man, with your fey name, and your weird Ken Burns haircut, he’s too good. Isn’t that right? He’s better than me. We never had a chance! He’s gonna kill that girl either way.
Juliet: Maybe, maybe not, Shawn, but I know this: you don’t just give up.
Shawn: Tell you what, Jules. Uh, the next time a serial killer calls you out, personally, uh, you can pick up your little pom-poms, and you can rally the troops to “never say die.” I’m out. Now get out.

Lassiter: You have a criminal record.
Shawn: I was 18.
Lassiter: Oh, 18? Well that makes it okay, let me just scratch this out.
Shawn: The arresting officer was my father. He was trying to teach me a lesson.
Lassiter: Did you learn it?
Shawn: I learned I hated my father, so sure.

Lassiter: I thought I told you no.
Shawn: But your eyes said yes. Hey, who’s that Cincinnati Red over there with the bowl cut?
Lassiter: Let me be perfectly clear. This is my crime scene. I don’t need your help. I don’t want your help. If you don’t leave right now, I will have you arrested for interfering with a police investigation. Am I clear?
Shawn: Like butter.

Juliet: Shawn, how do you know this?
Shawn: The same way that I know that as a child Lassie wanted nothing more than a pony.
Lassiter: Oh, come on. Who didn’t?
Gus: Anyone who wasn’t an 8 year-old-girl.

Gus: I wrote the location down.
Shawn: This says “In the middle of a field”. Why did you have to write that down?
Gus: The address is on the back.

Shawn: He’s not going to kill us… right? I mean, people change. We haven’t seen him since the fifth grade.
Gus: I don’t need to see him, Shawn! Some people are just born evil: the kid from “The Omen”, the Children of the Corn, Chad Michael Murray.

Gus: Do you even know what you're looking for?
Shawn: I'll know it when I see it. Ooh! It's not that pebble.

OMG cette réplique de Felicity m'a trop fait rire:

Citation :

Javier: That is not selfish, honey, okay? that is the opposite of selfish. that's ... buy-fish.

Buy-fish ? Je suis pas trop sûre d'avoir compris ^^

Une réplique de Grüdü dans Kaamelott qui m'éclate à chaque fois :




L'absurde dans toute sa splendeur

Ca t'aurais peut-être frappée en connaissant le perso. Javier est un immigrant qui fait parfois de drôle de transformation de la langue anglaise (étant donné qu'il ne gère pas parfaitement). Ici, c'est un jeu de mot si tu décomposes selfish=> sel et fish (sell (vendre) fish (poisson). Or, qu'est-ce que l'opposé de vendre? Acheter! Donc Buy fish


Ah oui, je me souviens de cette répliques

Haaann, d'accord, j'avais pas abordé la réplique sous cet angle !!! Enorme

Merci pour l'explication ^^