Les meilleures répliques

a.a.k a écrit:

FNL

Jason: What are you doing out of school? (to Billy) What did you write him a note or something?
Tim: I told them I was pregnant. Need a few days to relax.[/size]

^^ j'adore cette réplique...aww mon ptit Tim, il me fait trop rire.


Quelques-unes de FNL que j'adore...

Eric:(à Julie) All right, listen up. I’m supposed to give you some fatherly and wise advice at this time in your life. Listen up, if you’re wondering if a boy’s thinking about you, he’s not. He’s thinking about sex or he's hungry, those are the only two options.
---
Eric:At least she's not interested in a serial killer... or one of the Riggins!
---
Smash: For as long I've known Tim Riggins, there's only two phrases that put a smile on his face: number one, "We goin' to State!" Number two, "The results are in. You are not the father!"
---
Tim: That's not racism man, I just don't like him. He can be from Saudi Arabia, or Sweden or Czech. That dude could be Santa Claus and I still won't like him.
---
Tami: (à Tim) The big deal is it's part of my job, to make sure that you don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world.
---
Tami: Hey, hey, hey! What the hell? What the hell is going on?
Eric: Hey hon. We're playing ping pong!
Tami: At 5 o'clock in the morning?
Eric: Yeah. We're having fun! We're playing ping pong!
Tami: Well sweetheart, we gotta house full of people sleeping.
Eric: I'm sorry. Hey! Wait, wait, wait. Since you're up, though? You suppose you could make us some of those egg sandwiches with swiss cheese in them? Canadian bacon?
---
Coach Taylor: You got a girlfriend?
Matt: Uh, no, sir.
Coach Taylor: Do you have someone you’re interested in?
Matt: Uh…sort, sort of
Coach Taylor: Sort of. Forget about sort of. You know what? Take her out. You understand me?
Matt: Sir
Coach Taylor: Dinner, movies, get her in the backseat of your car. I don’t care, whatever, but I’m telling you, you need to get loose out there. You’re wound up tighter then a rubber band out there, son.
Matt: Yes, sir
Coach Taylor: Good. So tomorrow, you come to practice loose and focused.
Matt: Loose and focused. Yes, sir
Coach Taylor: Get out of here.
Matt: Yes..yes, sir, sorry. Thanks coach.
Coach Taylor: You’re welcome.
---
Eric: I think I told that kid to get our daughter in the backseat of a car.
---
Riggins: QB1, skipping school again
Saracen: Yeah, well, yesterday just kind of turned into today so... what about you?
Riggins: I always skip Wednesdays. Seriously what's the deal with the bike though?
Saracen: Nothin'... What are you gonna do?
Riggins: I was thinkin', you know, hit the Museum, Yoga, the Library for a bit... then again, I might just do the Usual...
---
Tim: Lyla
Lyla: Yes?
Tim: You're still number one. Still the best I've ever had.
---
Tim: Actually, I think I passed out because I was hungover, Mr. Garrity.
Buddy: I want you to listen to me, Tim Riggins. I don't EVER [want to] hear you say that again. I've seen you play with a hangover many times, and you played like a champ. This is because of that coach, it's all about McGregor, and I don't want you to put ANY of it upon yourself, OK?
---
Eric: You know what I think is funny? You waving from a little window in big yellow bus going bye daddy!
---
Tami: What is the Scarlet Letter about Tim?
Tim: It's about a gal named Scarlet, obviously...
---
Matt: You don't care about me! You left me for a better job. Your daughter left me for a better guy. Carlotta left me for Guatemala. My dad left me for a damn war. Everybody leaves me. What's wrong with me?
Coach: There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you at all.

Awww, j'adore toutes ces répliques

Quelques répliques géniallissimes de Kaamelott :

***

Lors d'un repas avec la mère d'Arthur, elle ne cesse de se référer à son père biologique : Uther Pandragon. Après plusieurs réflexions désagréables, la mère poursuit et :

Mère d'Arthur : "Du temps de Pandragon..."
Arthur : "Oh mais merde avec Pandragon ! Il fallait pas lui parler comme ci, il n'aurait jamais accepté ça, quand on lui marchait sur le pied, il vous crevait un oeil... Moi quand on me marche sur le pied, on me dit 'Pardon', et puis je réponds 'C'est pas grave'. Je suis pas une espèce de gros taré à qui on peut jamais rien dire !"


***

Arthur : "On va peut-être passer à table, vous devez avoir faim..."
Mère d'Arthur : "C'est à cette heure ci qu'on mange chez vous ?!"
Arthur : "Comment ça chez moi ? On mange quand on a faim. Pourquoi, vous mangez à quelle heure à Tintagelle ?"
Mère d'Arthur : "A Tintagelle, on mange quand on l'a mérité, quand on sait qu'on accomplit ses commandements avec humilité et qu'on a glorifié sa famille !"
Arthur : "Ah... Non, nous on mange quand on a faim..."


***

Guenièvre et Arthur sont dans leur lit, le soir, et il y a de l'orage. Guenièvre est terrifiée par le tonnerre et a l'impression que la foudre va lui tomber dessus car le tonnerre est la 'colère divine' :

Guenièvre : "Il y a pas que ça qui est puni. Il y a aussi la trahison !"
Arthur : "Bah, qui c'est que vous avez trahi ?!"
Guenièvre : "Mais personne !"
Arthur : "Eh bah alors, voilà !"
Guenièvre : "Il y a l'adultère aussi."
Arthur, sceptique : "Vous m'avez trompé ?!"
Guenièvre : "Moi ?? Non !!"
Arthur : "Comment ça : 'vous non' ?? Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire ?"
Guenièvre, dans un reproche : "Par exemple en ce moment, vous êtes bien l'amant de la femme du Duc d'Armoric, non ??"
Arthur : "Non !"
Guenièvre : "Non ?!"
Arthur : "Non, je ne sais pas qui vous raconte ça, mais c'est faux ! Des maîtresses, j'en ai suffisamment sans avoir à aller en chercher en Armoric !"
Guenièvre : "Oui, de toute façon, avec vous ou non, cette femme commet l'adultère !"
Arthur : "Et alors, qu'est-ce que ça fait, ça ?"
Guenièvre : "Eh bah, c'est de l'adultère et puis c'est tout !!"
Arthur : "Alors les Dieux viendraient vous cramer *vous* parce que la Duchesse d'Armoric se tape la moitié de la Gaulle depuis 15 ans ??!"
Guenièvre : "Mais je sais pas ! J'ai peur je vous dis, je réfléchis pas..."
Arthur : "Oui, eh bien, ça se voit..."


***

Léodagan : "Comment ça se fait que le Roi est pas là ?"
Lancelot (tout en lisant un parchemin) : "Je sais pas..."
Léodagan : "Il s'est pas réveillé ou quoi ?"
Lancelot : "Je peux pas vous dire..."
Léodagan : "Qu'est-ce qu'il y a à l'ordre du jour ?"
Lancelot : "J'ai pas regardé..."
Léodagan : "C'est pas aujourd'hui qu'il y a la déléguation des Druides ?"
Lancelot (levant un peu le nez de son parchemin) : "Vraiment, j'en sais rien du tout..."
Léodagan, le regardant finalement vexé : "Si vous voulez pas parler, autant me le dire franchement !"
Lancelot : "Ca n'a rien à voir avec ça, je vous dis que j'ai pas regardé, c'est tout."
Léodagan : "Non, mais je m'en tape de ça. C'est histoire de causer ! Qu'est-ce que j'en ai à foutre de ce qu'il y a à l'ordre du jour... ?!"
Lancelot : "J'ai rien contre le fait de parler, je vous dis que j'ai pas regardé !"
Léodagan : "Mais je m'en fous de l'ordre du jour, je vous dis !"
Lancelot : "C'est vous qui mettez ça sur le tapis !"
Léodagan : "C'est pas la question ! Je parlais pas de ça au début ! Au début, je vous demandais ce que foutait le Roi !"
Lancelot, s'énervant : "Mais j'en sais rien de ce que fout le Roi ! Je suis pas sa mère !!"

Je suis en train de regarder Kaamelott et j'ai une réplique qui m'a fait explosée de rire :

***

Merlin est censé donner un défi à Elias, un enchanteur.

Merlin : Elias de Queleuic, grand Enchanteur du Nord, meneur des loups de Calédonie, pourfendeur du Dragon des Neiges, concepteur de la potion de toute puissance, prophète des...
Arthur, l'interrompant : Bon bah, ça va, vous allez pas nous sortir tous le Curriculum non plus !

Merlin : Bah, entre Enchanteurs, c'est comme ça qu'on fait !
Elias : Merlin ! Enchanteur de Bretagne, grand vainqueur de la belette de Winchester, concepteur de la potion de guérison des ongles incarnés, auteur du parchemin "Le Drudisme expliqué aux personnes âgées"...
Merlin : Bon, c'est bon, c'est bon !

Il se tourne vers Arthur.

Merlin : Vous avez raison, ça va prendre une plombe !

Il se tourne à nouveau vers Elias.

Merlin : Elias, je vais te soumettre une énigme. Si tu échoues, tu retourneras d'où tu viens sans demander ton reste.
Elias : J'accepte ton défi Merlin. Enonce ton énigme.
Merlin : Qu'est-ce qui est petit et marron ?
Elias, du tac au tac : Un marron !
Merlin, avec une expression choquée : Putain, il est fort ce con !
Lancelot : Quoi, c'est tout ??
Arthur : C'est ça votre énigme ????!


***

Le passage en question, juste trop énorme, regardez, c'est super court (par contre, les paroles sont un peu en décalage).

C'est trop con mais j'adore J'aime beaucoup ce côté extrêmement décalé, même si c'est vrai que c'est un humour auquel il faut adhérer (n'y étant pas forcément habitué, j'avoue que j'ai parfois un peu de mal ^^).
Quelques répliques cultes de The OC:

Ryan: [Seth has been smoking pot due to stress of going to college] "It's almost 3:30. Isn't your interview at 4?
Seth: [high] What are you talking about?
[looks at clock]
Ryan: Are you ready?
Seth: Am I ready? Do me a favor.
[pulls up shirt sleeve and feels bicep]
Seth: Go ahead and feel that. Feel that puppy right there.
Ryan: No.
Seth: Okay. You don't want to touch another man, I get it. You find my slender swimmer's body, um, intimidating.
Ryan: [confused] Something smells.
Seth: No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But they, uh, they say that the first sign of a, um, brain tumor, is, uh, phantom smells so you should lie down.
[Ryan finds can of air freshener]
Seth: Hey. Hey, you solved it. You're a mystery solver. You're like - you're like Encyclopedia Brown. Remember when Encyclopedia Brown went on down to Texas...
[Ryan raises his eyebrows]
Seth: -and solved the mystery of the great shootout? Hey - how about this for a change. A cage match - Encyclopedia Brown versus the Great Brain - to the death.
Ryan: [pause] Are you high?
Seth: [tries to look innocent, then laughs uncontrollably] Am I high? No. No! Come on, man, I love it when you go for the comedy but I would not - I would not quit your day job beating up people. I would.
Seth: [Ryan finds ashtray with joints] I don't know how that got there."

------------------------------------------------------

Taylor Townsend: "You know, it is so great that you guys have each other.
Summer: [confused] Thanks.
Taylor Townsend: 'Cause everyone knows that Marissa was the popular one, and Seth, no judgment, but it's not like you got any cooler in the last two years. I mean, everyone just acted that way because they were afraid of Ryan Atwood. I mean, even as a senior, you're still pretty much the biggest geek in Newport.
Summer: [cuts Taylor off] Oh-ho, no. All right, listen to me, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a really nice voice, doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank!"

------------------------------------------------------

Seth: [holds up My Little Pony] "Who is this?
Summer: [looks embarrassed] No-one.
Seth: [imitating pony's voice] I'm not no-one.
Summer: Princess Sparkle, what do you want?"

------------------------------------------------------

Marissa: "So, I'll make you a deal. Whatever song comes on the radio next will be our song.
Ryan: Okay.
[Marissa turns on the radio, a loud rap song comes on]
Ryan: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. That's definitely us."

------------------------------------------------------

Julie: [when Luke hits on her in the hall] "Luke, you're a student at this school. I'm Marissa's mother.
Luke: [incredulous] You mean it's over?
Julie: No, of course not. I meant in the hall. I'll see you tonight. "

------------------------------------------------------

Ryan: "Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds.
Seth: Well, sometimes I do. "

------------------------------------------------------

Kirsten: "Julie, are you okay?
Julie: Duh! I don't need any steak knives! Do you want some coffee cake? "

------------------------------------------------------

Marissa: "I love you.
Ryan: Uh... Thank you? "

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Seth: "So what's the GP, RA?
Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.
Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood.
Ryan: You're just using initials now?
Seth: Yeah, it saves time.
Ryan: Well, not if you have to translate.
Seth: GP.
Ryan: Game plan?
Seth: Good point."

------------------------------------------------------

Kirsten: "Oh, someone, please stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightning."
Seth: Do it, dad. Travolta's your bitch.
Sandy: Oh, thank you, son."

------------------------------------------------------

Julie: "Can I ask you a question?
Kirsten: Mmhmm.
Julie: Do you like that he calls you Kiki?
Kirsten: Hate it.
Julie: 'Cause he kept calling me Juju, like that candy that gets stuck in your teeth. I begged him to stop. "

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Seth: "I'm claustrophobic.
Ryan: Seth this place is huge. It has a kitchen and a bathroom.
Seth: Sh. Ryan, don't use up all the oxygen."

Trop excellentes ces répliques J'adore celle-ci :

Citation :

Marissa: "So, I'll make you a deal. Whatever song comes on the radio next will be our song.
Ryan: Okay.
[Marissa turns on the radio, a loud rap song comes on]
Ryan: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. That's definitely us."

Je suis en train de regarder Monk et il a sorti une réplique qui m'a tué

Monk (parlant à un groupe de personnes) : "Si vous êtes coupables, levez la main !"

Ouais, cette scène est excellente

Et zut, j'ai pas regardé Monk aujourd'hui! Ca devait être trop marrant, j'adore C'est TELLEMENT digne de lui

Et accroche-toi, bizarrement, *personne* n'a levé la main

Pourquoi ça ne m'étonne pas?

D'autres répliques de The OC (après il faudra que j'en poste de Gilmore Girls, qui possède également une écriture assez extraordinaire):

Taylor: "Just because I want to use your body as a jungle gym, doesn't mean we need to get married."

-----------------------------------------------------

Julie: "Men are to me what Chardonnay is to you. One sip and I'm upside down on a chandelier. Not that you've ever done that."

-----------------------------------------------------

Summer: (after hearing Seth kiss another girl in Vegas) "He's kissing another girl. I've actually been crying real tears over that ass, and he's kissing randoms! I'm going to go to Vegas, and I'm going to kick his ass.
(flashes to Vegas)
Seth: She's gonna kick my ass!
Ryan: Yeah."

------------------------------------------------------

Julie: "I'm totally screwed.
Sandy: I know, I saw the footage."

------------------------------------------------------

Luke: "Welcome to The O.C., bitch!" [ce qui en français donne un excellent jeu de mot: "Bienvenue à Newport Beach!"]

alors voici mes citations favorite de Grey's anatomy
je me suis même fait un document pour ne jamais les perdres!!
alors voila


"What a Difference a Day Makes"
Alex: Today is the day my life begins, all my life I’ve been just me, just a smartass kid. Today I become a man, today I become a husband, today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you, to our future, to all the possibilities that our marriage has to offer. Together no matter what happens I’ll be ready for anything, for everything... To take on life, to take on love, take on possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens our life together begins… And I for one can’t wait.

"Losing My Religion" ( c'est ma préféré de tous! )
Alex: Izzie, that's not Denny.

Izzie: Shut up.

Alex: Iz, that's not Denny. The minute his heart stopped beating, he stopped being Denny. Now, I know you love him, but he also loved you. And a guy that loves you like that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself. Because it's not Denny. Not anymore.

‘’All By Myself ‘’
Alex: I love you! I frickin' love you. I just got the solo surgery and the first thing I did was look for you. And you weren't there. You're never there anymore. And I was thinking about it and I think it might be because you love me too. And because you're scared of that. And because I... I screwed it up last time, and because... Denny died, and-
Izzie: Alex...
Alex: Listen. You had that heart patient and it reminded you of Denny and how bad you felt when you were lying on that bathroom floor. I get that! I get that you're scared. But you're not going to have to feel like that again. Because I'm not going to die, Izz. And I'm not gonna cheat on you, and I'm not gonna go anywhere! 'Cause, I think you're my best shot at... I think with you... you make me better. You make me wanna BE better. You make me want to be good. And I think I can. With you. I think I can. So I'm not going anywhere, and you can stop hiding. And if you wanna be scared that's okay just be scared with me. Be scared while you scrub in with me on my first solo surgery. Okay?
Izzie: You love me.
Alex: Shut up. [kisses her, leaves] Solo surgery!
Denny: I'm really starting to not like that guy.

‘’Something to Talk About ‘’

ALEX: "Hey, listen. For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something... to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere... a kiss so hot and so deep that you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. You don't want to. Trust me. When you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

‘’ I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked’’
Alex: You got cancer, and we got married. And you died, and you lived again. And you left, and you came back, and we got through it. I got through it. I'm on the other side. Iz, I love you so much and I- Till I met you, I used to think I just wasn't a good guy. Growing up in my family and that's what they told me. But now after all of it, I know that I'm a good man and I thank you for that. Because I know now that I'm good enough not to deserve this. Not to have to feel like this. Not to love you so much that I almost hate you. I deserve someone who will stay. I'm happy you're okay, and I'm happy about your job. And I want you to go, and be happy, and not come back.

‘’Death And All His Friends ‘’

ALEX: Izzie.
LEXIE: Alex, it's Lexie. Alex.
ALEX: Iz. I'm sorry. Don't go. We got married. Please don't go.
LEXIE: I'm not going anywhere.
ALEX: You came back for me, Iz.
LEXIE: I came back.
ALEX: Don't ever leave me. Don't ever leave me again.
LEXIE: I won't. I won't ever leave. We're always going to be together, okay? Always.

‘’Goodbye’’

Alex: You died in my arms. You died in my arms, you freakin' died and then you left instructions that i wasn't allowed to save your life. You wanna know what I'm scared of? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared to move! I'm scared to breathe! I'm scared to touch you! I can't lose you. I won't survive. And that's your fault. You made me love you, you made me let you in, and then you freakin' die in my arms!


voila je metterai peut-être plus tard mes citation préféré de liz/max







Edit@a.a.k: J'ai changé ton message de place puisqu'on a un sujet spécial pour les citations de séries

Awwww, ce que j'aime Alex ^^ Et j'aime beaucoup son couple avec Izzie ^^

News ^^


10 things I hate about you

Kat: Feminism, have you heard of it?
Bianca : Mmmmm... Isn't that the thing that killed romance?

---

Ats

Cordy: Okay, we've heard from Scarlet "Oh, please shut me up."

Lorne: You want me to talk to my family? On purpose?

Angel: Ask me why I'm smiling.
Cordy: I will because it's scaring me!

---

Bones

Booth: You're a smart-ass, you know that?
Bones: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart. Although it has nothing to do with my ass.

---


GA

Cristina: What was I supposed to do? Blow off my boyfriend for Thanksgiving? [pause] I tried to. He wouldn't blow. He's like something sticky that won't blow off.

Georges: You underestimate me. I’m not a baby, I’m your colleague. You don’t have to manipulate me. If you want something all you have to do is ask.
Izzie: We want you to go over Bailey's head to Burke.
Georges : Ask me something easier.

Cristina (about Izzie) You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I were you I'd walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have a job. I wouldn't have skills. I wouldn't even know how to read. I'd just be ... naked.

---

Leverage:

Hardison: Going to plan "B".
Nate: Technically that would be plan "G.
Hardison: How many plans do we have? Is there like a plan "M"?
Nate: Yeah, Hardison dies in plan "M".
Elliot: I like plan "M".

Hardison: I got to get back to the office. I just remembered something.
Parker: What?
Hardison: I just remembered gravity...and the squishiness of all my manly bits.
Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon-fiber, five-point harness, weight support here, here, here, auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.
Hardison: Okay, okay, cool, so it's tested?
Parker: Not yet.
Hardison: Not ye..? When the hell were you going to test it?
Parker: (pushes X off the roof) Big baby.

Elliot: Nice job, blowing out the engine block.
Hardison: I was aiming for his leg.
Elliot: Give me the gun, Hardison!

---


Lipstick Jungle:

Maddie: I like this music.
Wendy: You should, you were conceived to it.

---

Psych

Lassiter: I need to get something off my chest.
Shawn: Is it your shirt? Please say no.


Roswell:

Micheal: Hey, it's not my fault - except for the part that is.

---

SPN

Voice: You've reached the voice mail of...
*THUT*
Castiel: I don't understand... Why... Why do you want me to say my name?
*THUT* *THUT* *THUT* *THUT* *THUT*

---

TSCC

Sara: What's that language you speak, boy?
Andy: Computer science, CalTech. Advanced dork.

---

That '70s show

Kelso: Geez, if [Red]'s like this now, he's going to be a total headcase when they shut down the plant. He's just going to be this pathetic guy...
(Red walks in)
Kelso (loudly): ...with breasts the size of watermelons! (pauses) ...is what Moses said to the Egyptians.

Hyde: ...Let's drink beer!
Kelso: Me first!
Donna: No way! I spotted it!
Kelso: Nah, I saw it too. I just didn't say anything!
Hyde: You saw a keg and you didn't say anything?! BACK OF THE LINE!

---

TB

Jason: I don't even know why they suspected me. I think somebody heard I'd been with Maudette.
Sookie: Had you?
Jason: No.
Sookie: Are you sure? She *was* a woman.

---

Tudors

Anne: Trust in those who offer you service, And in the end my maidens, You will find yourself in the ranks of those who have been deceived.

---


VD

Damon: Some girls just can't resist my good looks... my style and my charm... and my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift.



VM

Lamb: I asked you a question.
Logan: And I ignored it and moved on. Keep up!

---

Urgences

Samantha: Men only think about three things: food, sports and sex. Dogs are more mysterious.

Patient: It's all ending today! Today is the last day!
Carter: Oh, great, I have to work. I'm always working when the world ends.

Sur SF, pour chaque épisode, j'ai repris la compile des meilleures quotes. Je me dis que ça peut être chouette de les reposter ici. Evidemment, je vais faire ça de manière éparpillée, pas les 7 saisons d'un coup, rassurez-vous

Citation :

[1.01] Pilot

Sam: Dean? (Dean laughs) You scared the crap out of me.
Dean: That's because you're out of practice. (Sam pins Dean down)
Dean: Or not. Get off me.
Sam: What the hell are you doing here?
Dean: Well I was looking for a beer.

Sam: Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?
Dean: I'm 26, dude.

Sam: So how'd you pay for that stuff? You and Dad still running credit card scams?
Dean: Well, yeah. Hunting ain't exactly a pro ball career. Besides, all we do is apply. It's not our fault they send us the cards...

Sam: Dude, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.
Dean: Why?
Sam: Well for one they are cassette tapes. And two, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica... it's the greatest hits of mullet rock.
Dean: House rules, Sammy, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.
Sam: Sammy is a chubby 12 year old. It's Sam okay.
Dean: Sorry can't hear you. The music's too loud.

Sam: I like your necklace.
Amy: Troy gave it to me. Mostly, to scare my parents with all that devil stuff.
Sam: Actually, it means just the opposite. A pentagram is protection against evil, really powerful. I mean, if you believe in that kind of thing.
Dean: Okay, thank you Unsolved Mysteries.

Policeman: Who are you?
Dean: Federal Marshals.
Policeman: You two are a little young for Marshals, aren't you?
Dean: Thanks, that's awfully kind of you.

Sam: So what's the theory?
Policeman: Seriously? We don't know. Serial murder, kidnapping ring...
Dean: Well, that's exactly the kinda crack police work I'd expect outta you guys...

Dean: (nodding at two agents) No sir, we were just leaving. Agent Mulder, Agent Scully.

Sam: (to Dean) You smell like a toilet.

Sam: Hey Dean. What I said earlier, about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.
Dean: No chick flick moments.
Sam: All right... jerk.
Dean: Bitch.

Officer: So, fake U.S. Marshall. Fake credit cards. You got anything that's real?
Dean: My boobs.

Sheriff: So you want to give us your real name?
Dean: I told you, it's Nugent. Ted Nugent.

Sheriff: I'm not sure you realize just how much trouble you're in here.
Dean: You talkin' about misdemeanor kind of trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?

Sheriff: You got the faces of ten missing persons taped to your wall. Along with a whole lot of satanic mumbo jumbo. Boy, you are officially a suspect.
Dean: That makes sense, since when the first one went missing in '82 I was three!

Dean: Nice work, Sammy.
Sam: (painful laughing) Yeah, wish I could say the same for you. What were you thinking shooting Casper in the face, you freak?
Dean: Hey, saved your ass! I'll tell you another thing. If you screwed up my car, I'll kill you.

Sam: We got work to do.

Citation :

[1.02] Wendigo

(playing a video game)
Brad: Dude, you're cheating.
Gary: Nope, you just suck.

Dean: You okay?
Sam: Yeah, I'm fine.
Dean: Another nightmare?
(Sam clears throat)
Dean: You wanna drive for a while?
Sam: Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that.

Sam: So, Black Water Ridge is pretty remote. It's cut off by these canyons, here. The rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place.
Dean: Dude, check out the size of this frigin' bear.
Sam: And a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It's no nature hike, that's for sure.

Ranger Wilkinson : You boys aren't planning to go out near Black Water Ridge by any chance?
Sam: Oh, no sir. We're Environmental Study Majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper.
Dean: Recycle, man.
Ranger Wilkinson : Bull.

Haley: You're rangers?
Dean: That's right.
Haley: And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?
Dean: Oh, sweetheart, I don't do shorts.

Dean: Roy, so you did a little hunting...
Roy: Yeah, more than a little.
Dean: Uhuh...what kind of fiery creatures do you hunt?
Roy: Mostly bucks, sometimes a bear.
Dean: Tell me... uh, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?

Haley: You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffle bag. You're not rangers, so who the hell are you?
Dean: Sam and I are brothers, and we're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that you and me, we're in the same boat.
Haley: Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?
Dean: I'm telling you now. Besides, that's probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman. Ever. So we okay?
Haley: Yeah, okay.
Dean: And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions? (pulls out peanut M&Ms and walks away)

Sam: We never should have let you come out here in the first place, alright? I'm trying to protect you.
Roy: You protect me? I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you goodnight.
Sam: Yeah? It's a damn near perfect hunter, and it's gonna hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid, sorry ass out of here.
Roy: (laughs) You know you're crazy, right?

Dean: (to Sam) I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things... The family business.

Sam: How do you do it? How does Dad do it?
Dean: Well for one, them. (looks at Haley and her brother) I mean, our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable. (long pause) And I tell you what else helps. Killing as many evil sons-of-bitches as I possibly can.

Haley: I don't know how to thank you. (Dean gives her "the look") Must you cheapen the moment?
Dean: Yeah.

Citation :

[1.03] Dead in the water

Dean: You know, Sam, we are allowed to have fun once in a while. (points to an attractive waitress) That's fun.

Sam: People don't just disappear, Dean. Other people just stop looking for them.

Dean: (to Sam) Oh god, we're not going to have to hug or anything, are we?

Dean: So... cute kid.
Andrea: Thanks.
Dean: Kids are the best, huh?

Andrea: (to Dean) Must be hard, with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick-up line.

Sam: “Kids are the best?" You don't even like kids.
Dean: I love kids.
Sam: Name three children that you even know.
(long pause)
Sam: Forget it.
Dean: I'm thinking!

Dean: (to Lucas) So crayons are more of your thing. That's cool. Chicks dig artists.

Dean: (to Lucas) You're scared. It's okay, I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom—I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe... your dad wants you to be brave, too.

Sam: (referring to Lucus' picture) See this church? I bet there is less than a thousand of those around here.
Dean: (sarcastically) Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart.

Dean: I just don't want to leave this town until I know that the kid is okay.
Sam: Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?

Dean: You and Bill killed Peter Sweeney 35 years ago. That's what the hell we're talking about. And now you've got one seriously pissed off spirit.
Sam: It's gonna take Andrea, Lucas, everyone you love. It's gonna drown them and it's gonna drag their body god knows where. So you can feel the same pain Peter's mom felt. And then after, it's gonna take you, and it's not going to stop until it does.
Sheriff Devins: Yeah, and how do you know that?
Sam: Because that's exactly what it did to Bill Carlton.
Sheriff Devins: Listen to yourselves, both of you. You're insane.
Dean: I don't really give a rat's ass what you think of us.

Dean: All right if you're goin' to be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it back to me one more time.
Lucas: Zeppelin Rules!
Dean: That's right, up high.

Citation :

[1.04] Phantom Traveler

Dean: What time is it now?
Sam: Oh about 5:45.
Dean: In the morning?!?
Sam: Yup.
Dean: (sarcastically) Where does the day go?

Dean: Did you get any sleep last night?
Sam: Yeah, I got a couple of hours.
Dean: Liar. See, I was up at 3 and you were watching George Foreman infomercials.
Sam: What can I say? Riveting TV!

Dean: When's the last time you got a good night sleep?
Sam: I don't know. A little while I guess. It's not a big deal.
Dean: Yeah, it is!
Sam: Look I appreciate your concern...
Dean: Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive! So I need you sharp.

Sam: Never? You're never afraid?
Dean: No, not really.
(Sam pulls a long knife out from under Dean's pillow)
Dean: That's not fear. That's precaution.
Sam: Alright, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.

Dean: Yeah, it was a poltergeist right?
Co-Worker: Hey, Poltergeist, I love that movie!
Jerry: Yeah, no one's talking to you. Keep walkin'.

Jerry: If you fellas would excuse me, I have an idiot to fire.

Dean: Yeah, a middle-aged dentist with an ulcer isn't exactly evil personified.

Sam: You've been in there forever.
Dean: You can't rush perfection.

Sam: Homeland Security. That's pretty illegal, even for us.
Dean: Yeah well, it's something new. You know, people haven't seen it a thousand times.

Dean: I look like one of the Blues Brothers.
Sam: No you don't . You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance.

Sam: What is that?
Dean: It's an EMF meter. It reads electromagnetic frequencies.
Sam: I know what an EMF is. But why does that one look like a busted-up walkman?
Dean: (proudly) Because that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.
Sam: Yeah, I can see that.

Sam: Are you ok?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: Why? What's wrong?
Dean: I kind of have this problem with...
(moves his hand in a plane motion)
Sam: Flying?
Dean: It's never really been an issue until now.
Sam: You're joking right?
Dean: Do I look like I'm joking?! Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?!

(Dean is being fidgety on the plane)
Sam: Just try to relax.
Dean: (through clenched teeth) Just try to shut up!

Sam: Are you humming to Metallica?
Dean: Calms me down.

Sam: If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of God.
Dean: Uh, nice.
(Dean gets up and starts to walk away)
Sam : Hey?
Dean: What?
Sam: Say it In Latin.
Dean: I know!
Sam : Hey?
Dean: What?!
Sam: In Latin it's Cristo.
Dean: Dude, I know! I'm not idiot!

Dean: Sam, this plane is going to crash, okay? So quit treating me like I'm freakin' four!
Sam: (very calmly) You need to calm down.
Dean: Well, I'm sorry I can't!
Sam: (still calm) Yes, you can.
Dean: Dude, stow the touchy-feely, self-help-yoga crap. It's not helping!

Dean: This is going to sound nuts, but we just don't have time for "The Truth Is Out There" speech right now...

Citation :

[1.05] Bloody Mary

Sam: Why'd you let me fall asleep?
Dean: Because I'm an awesome brother.

Dean: So, what'd you dream about?
Sam: Lollipops and candycanes.
Dean: Yeah, sure.

Dean: Dude, I earned that money.
Sam: You won it in a poker game!
Dean: Yeah...?

Sam: So we gotta search local newspapers, public records as far back as they go. See if we can find a Mary who fits the bill.
Dean: Well, that sounds annoying.
Sam: No, it won't be so bad, as long as we, ahh... (looks at the computers which have signs on them saying "OUT OF ORDER") ...huh. I take that back. This will be very annoying.

Sam: Find anything?
Dean: Besides a whole new level of frustration? No.

(discussing Jill's murder)
Charlie: I'm insane, right?
Dean: No, you're not insane.
Charlie: That makes me feel so much worse!

Dean: Well, who's gonna summon her?
Sam: I will. She'll come after me.
Dean: You know what, that's it. This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night—-it's gonna kill you. Now listen to me-—It wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one that dragged you away from her in the first place.

Dean: I don't what?
Sam: You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything.
Dean: What are you talking about?
Sam: Well it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?

Officer: Hold it!
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. False alarm. I tripped the system.
Officer: Who are you?
Dean: I'm the boss's kid.
Officer: You're Mr. Yamishiro's kid?

Reflection: (to Sam) You never told her the truth—who you really were.But it's more than that, isn't it? Those nightmares you've been having of Jessica dying, screaming, burning—You had them for days before she died. Didn't you!?! You were so desperate to ignore them, to believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that? How could you leave her alone to die!?! You dreamt it would happen!!!

Dean: Hey, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean : This has gotta be like, what, 600 hundred years bad luck?

Sam: Look, you're my brother and I'd die for you. But there are some things I need to keep to myself.

Citation :

[1.06] Skin

Dean: Sam wears women's underwear.
Sam: I've been listening, I'm just busy.

Dean: You kidding? You still keep in touch with your college buddies?
Sam: Why not?
Dean: Well, what exactly do you tell them? You know, about where you've been? What you've been doing?
Sam: I tell them that I'm on a road trip with my big brother. I tell them I needed some time off after Jess.
Dean: Oh, so you lie to them?
Sam: No! I just don't tell them... everything.
Dean: Yeah... that's, that's called lying. Hey man, I get it. Telling them the truth is far worse!

Dean: Yeah, it sucks. But with a job like this you can't get close to people. Period.
Sam: You're kind of anti-social, you know that?
Dean: Yeah, you know. Whatever.

(after Dean finds out that Sam's friend, Zach, has been put in jail for murdering his girlfriend)
Dean: Dude, what kind of people are you hanging out with?!

Dean: So the neighbor's dog went psycho right around the time Zack's girlfriend was killed.
Sam: Animals can have a sharp sense of paranormal.
Dean: Yeah, maybe Fido saw something.

Sam: Hey Bec, can we take those beers now?
Rebecca: Yeah, sure.
Sam: And, ah, maybe some sandwiches too.
Rebecca: What do you think this is, Hooters?
Dean: (sotto voce) I wish.

Dean: All right, what are we doing here at 5:30 in the morning?
Sam: I realized something - the videotape shows the killer going in but not coming out.
Dean: So he came out the back door.
Sam: Right, so there should be a trail to follow, a trail the police would never pursue.
Dean: Because they think the killer never left, they caught your friend Zach inside. (sotto voice) Still don't know what we're doing here at 5:30 in the morning.

Dean: Hey. Remember when I said this wasn't our kind of problem?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Definitely our kind of problem.

Dean: I think we're close to its lair.
Sam: Why'd you say that?
Dean: Because there's another puke-inducing pile next to your face.
Sam: Urgh, God!

Shape-shifter Dean: He's sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home, with Dad. You don't think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me! Where the hell were you?
Sam: Where is my brother?
Shape-shifter Dean: I am your brother! See... deep down, I'm just jealous. You've got friends. You've got a life. Me? I know I'm a freak. And sooner or later, everyone's gonna leave me.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Shape-Shifter Dean: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to and he still left me! No explanation, no nothing, just poof! Left me with your sorry ass! But still, this life isn't without its perks. I mean, I meet the nicest people! Like little Becky. You know... Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let's see what happens!

Dean: That better be you Sam and not that freak of nature!
Sam: Yeah, it's me. He went to Becca's, looking like you.
Dean: Well, he's not stupid. He picked the handsome one!

Sam: We've gotta find a phone, call the police!
Dean: You're gonna put an APB out on me?

Dean: Sam, the guy's walkin' around with my face. Okay, it's a little personal, I wanna find him.

(talking about the shapeshifter)
Dean: Argh, the thought of him driving my car.
Sam: Ah come on.
Dean: It's killing me!
Sam: Let it go.

Dean: Man, it's not even a good picture!
Sam: It's good enough.

Dean: All right, but first I want to find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him!

Rebecca: What did you call it?
Shapeshifter Dean: A shapeshifter. Yeah, maybe we're crazy, but what if we're not? I mean, look, you said it yourself, that Zach was in two places at once, now tell me how that can happen?
Rebecca: Okay, so this thing, it can make itself look like anybody?
Shapeshifter Dean: That's right.
Rebecca: Well, what is it? Like a genetic freak?
Shapeshifter Dean: Maybe...evolution is about mutation, right? So maybe this thing was born Human but was different, hideous and hated... until he learned to become someone else.

Sam: What are you gonna do to me?
Shapeshifter Dean: I'm not gonna do anything, Dean will, though.
Sam: You'll never catch him.
Shapeshifter Dean: Oh, it doesn't matter. Murder in the first? Of his own brother? He'll be hunted the rest of his life.

Shapeshifter Dean: I must say, I will be sorry to lose this skin. Your brother's got a lot of good qualities - you should appreciate him more than you do.

Dean: I really wish things could be different, you know, I wish you could just be Joe College.
Sam: Nah, that's okay. You know, truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.
Dean: Well, that's cuz you're a freak.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.
Dean: Well I'm a freak, too. I'm right there with you, all the way.

Dean: You know, I gotta say, I'm sorry I'm going to miss it.
Sam: Miss what?
Dean: How many chances am I going to have to see my own funeral.

Citation :

[1.07] Hook Man

Dean: Your, uh, half-caff double vanilla latte's getting cold over here, Francis.
Sam: Bite me.

Dean: So this is how you spent four years of your life.
Sam: Welcome to higher education.

(at a frat party)
Dean: Man, you've been holding out on me, this college thing is awesome!
Sam: This wasn't really my experience.
Dean: Let me guess - libraries, studying, straight A's.
(Sam nods)
Dean: What a geek.

Dean: So you believe her?
Sam: I do.
Dean: Yeah, I think she's hot, too.

Dean: I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.
Sam: What about the shotgun?
Dean: I said that you were hunting ghosts and spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.
Sam: And he believed you?
Dean: Well you look like a dumbass pledge.

(preparing to search)
Dean: Alright, take your pick.
Sam: I'll take the house.
Dean: Okay. Hey, stay out of her underwear drawer.

Lori: So your brother seems very... spiritual.
Sam: He's full of surprises.

Dean: That's it! Next time, I get to watch the cute girl's house.

Citation :

[1.08] Bugs

Dean: (after winning at gambling) Work, work work. No time to spend my money.

Dean: Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap.
Sam: Yeah, but hustling pool, credit card scams. It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean.
Dean: Well let's see. Honest...fun and easy. (pause) It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it, it's what we were raised to do.
Sam: Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked.

Sam: Oasis Plains, Oklahoma, not far from here... gas company employee, Dustin Burwash, supposedly died from Creutzfeldt-Jakob.
Dean: Huh? (confused)
Sam: Human Mad Cow Disease.
Dean: Mad Cow.... wasn't that on Oprah?
Sam: You watch Oprah?
(Dean looks embarrassed)

Dean: Kinda hungry for a little barbeque. How about you? (Sam glares at him) What, we can't talk to the locals?
Sam: And the free food's got nothing to do with it?
Dean: Of course not, I'm a professional!

Larry: Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or...sexual orientation.
Dean: We're brothers.
Real Estate Agent: We accept home owners of all race, religion, color, or sexual orientation.
Dean: Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry. Okay, Honey? (smacks Sam on the butt)

Dean: Growing up in a place like this would freak me out.
Sam: Why?
Dean: The manicured lawns, "How was your day, honey?" I'd blow my brains out.
Sam: There's nothing wrong with normal.
Dean: I'd take our family over normal any day.

Sam: Well, Dad never treated you like that, you were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember?
Dean: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line.
Sam: Right! Right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bow hunting.
Dean: Bow hunting's an important skill!

Dean: (towel wrapped around his head) This shower is awesome.

Dean: Hmm...looks like there's only room for one. You want to flip a coin?
Sam: Dean, we have no idea what's down there.
Dean: All right. I'll go if you're scared. Scared?
Sam: Flip the damn coin!
Dean: Call it in the air, chicken. (flips coin)
Sam: (catches coin) I'm going...don't drop me.

Dean: So you found some beetles in a hole in the ground. That's shocking, Sam.

Sam: The question is, why bugs and why now?
Dean: That's two questions.